Give from our poverty

Yesterday I was meditating on the gospel reading about the widow who gave two coins at the temple (should we really be surprised that a woman's two cents is worth infinitely more then whatever a man ultimately contributes ;-) 

 

He said, "I tell you truly,

this poor widow put in more than all the rest;

for those others have all made offerings from their surplus wealth,

but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood."

(Luke 21:3-4)

When hearing this reading I typically am focused on the fact that the poor widow trusted God with everything she had. Yesterday however the words, "from her poverty" spoke to me. She didn't only give everything. She gave from her poverty; her weakness, her inadequacy, her imperfect state.

I often ask myself if I am giving everything to God, but in the back of my head I'm usually thinking that some parts of me or things I posses aren't good enough to give Him. I feel I need to improve or make them better and that I'm not yet worthy enough. God doesn't just long for us to give Him the good in us though. He wants us to give from our poverty wherever that means we are at today. If it's only two pennies, it doesn't matter. He will multiply what we give Him and make our gift fruitful.

It's easy to sometimes think that when we give to God, we are adding to the goodness and power He has. We might express this as the following equation ...

o (our gift) + g (God's power) = v (end value)

But the truth is it is a multiplication expression rather then addition. Something more like this...

o (our gift) / a (all we have) * g (God's power) = v (end value)

That is how the widow's pennies are more valuable then the gifts the rich were putting in. We can never add to or improve the goodness of God. Instead He multiplies the percentage we give Him. The question is, how much of His light will we allow to shine through our life?

So what are the things I'm holding back from giving God because I don't think they are good enough for him? What part of my life am I not allowing Him to shine through? Where is my poverty? Am I willing to lay my vulnerability before the king? Do I trust that it is enough like the widow? Jesus wants our weakness...all of it. 

"Follow me"... today I'll try

"I desire mercy, not sacrifice. I did not come to call the righteous but the sinners." (From today gospel account of the calling of Matthew in MT 9:9-13)

I once heard a priest say that a good sermon, "Comforts the afflicted and afflicts the comfortable." That is exactly what Jesus seems to be doing in todays gospel on the feast day of St Matthew who I was named after.

I always feel that I can relate to Matthew as I am sinner in need of great healing just as he was. His story gives me hope. The great physician wants to heal me and continues time and again to say, "Follow Me." Do I have the courage like my namesake to get up from the mess I am existing in and follow? Some days I feel that I want to but when I am honest, I still hold onto so many things that weigh me down. Conversion needs to be a daily decision to follow and live life for the Lord. We'll never make it on our own but Jesus longs to heal us and give us the peace our hearts desires. So let's take courage in the fact that we have a Savior who came for us, the sick. He dines with us, invites us to walk with him and heals our wounds.

Understanding the Beatitudes

The Beatitudes are a central part of Jesus' message but have have always been a bit mysterious to me. For some reason, I just can't visualize what they mean as well as I'd like. A while back I did some reading on and meditating on them during a holy hour and attempted to define what each one was asking of me. These questions are likely lacking and incomplete but putting them down helped me ponder and better understand Jesus' words...

The Beatitudes (Matthew 5:3-12):

3 " Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Am I detached from things of this world. Do I recognize my need for his mercy?

4 "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted."

Do I morn for my sins and for injustices?

5 "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth."

Do I restrain my anger and discouragement when things don't go well?

6 "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied."

Do I make the Lord's will my will and seek his kingdom and righteousness in my actions?

7 "Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy."

Am I patient and understanding in bearing other's faults and charitable and generous as much as I can be?

8 "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God."

Do I possess integrity at my core or do I have evil or lustful thoughts?

9 "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God."

Do I sow peace in the world ultimately by sharing the gospel so others can be reconciled with God and experience his peace?

10 "Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven."

Does my commitment to the gospel of Christ make me a target of the world?