Give from our poverty

Yesterday I was meditating on the gospel reading about the widow who gave two coins at the temple (should we really be surprised that a woman's two cents is worth infinitely more then whatever a man ultimately contributes ;-) 

 

He said, "I tell you truly,

this poor widow put in more than all the rest;

for those others have all made offerings from their surplus wealth,

but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood."

(Luke 21:3-4)

When hearing this reading I typically am focused on the fact that the poor widow trusted God with everything she had. Yesterday however the words, "from her poverty" spoke to me. She didn't only give everything. She gave from her poverty; her weakness, her inadequacy, her imperfect state.

I often ask myself if I am giving everything to God, but in the back of my head I'm usually thinking that some parts of me or things I posses aren't good enough to give Him. I feel I need to improve or make them better and that I'm not yet worthy enough. God doesn't just long for us to give Him the good in us though. He wants us to give from our poverty wherever that means we are at today. If it's only two pennies, it doesn't matter. He will multiply what we give Him and make our gift fruitful.

It's easy to sometimes think that when we give to God, we are adding to the goodness and power He has. We might express this as the following equation ...

o (our gift) + g (God's power) = v (end value)

But the truth is it is a multiplication expression rather then addition. Something more like this...

o (our gift) / a (all we have) * g (God's power) = v (end value)

That is how the widow's pennies are more valuable then the gifts the rich were putting in. We can never add to or improve the goodness of God. Instead He multiplies the percentage we give Him. The question is, how much of His light will we allow to shine through our life?

So what are the things I'm holding back from giving God because I don't think they are good enough for him? What part of my life am I not allowing Him to shine through? Where is my poverty? Am I willing to lay my vulnerability before the king? Do I trust that it is enough like the widow? Jesus wants our weakness...all of it. 

I am the rich young man - thoughts from my a recent holy hour

I try to be a good person but know I am so far from perfect and so I sit here and ask my Lord what is keeping me from being a saint. Jesus looks at me, loves me and says, "Matthew, you lack one important thing. You must give every last part of you to your family, your neighbors and all those I place in your life who need to be loved. Then let go of every worry, every ambition, every prideful thought and instead follow me in every breath you take."

Like the rich man Jesus spoke to in Mark 10:17-22, there are so many things that I possess that I don't want to let go of. In fact salvation seems to be a ludicrously impossible notion. But for God, all things are possible... even me. He will lift and carry me when I fall and give me the grace I need to grow. Like a fire that purifies imperfections, my God can turn my ugliness into something beautiful. 

These were some thoughts from a recent Holy Hour I made on Feb 27. A verse from the days readings (Mark 10:21) especially stood out to me which reads “Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to him…” There is a lot in that short statement. First Jesus looked at the young man. He gave him his time and saw where he was at. Then it makes a point to say He “loved him.”  He didn’t just say "I am God and here’s the deal." He loved the man first and foremost. It was only after loving him and through His loving him that Jesus tells the rich young man what he must do to be perfect. This is a reminder to me first that Jesus does see me and loves me as I am which is a beautiful thing. And going beyond that it’s also a blueprint of how I need to be present to others. If I’m going to be a follower of Christ, I need to look closely at the people around me and love them like Jesus does or my words little.

He comes - thoughts from my holy hour last night

I sometimes think that I am the one coming to you here in adoration but in reality you come to me. You are always coming to me. You never are content to just wait for my heart to find you but instead you seek me out. I approach you like the centurion did when you came to his town of Capernaum when his servant was sick. Even at this point you tell him, "I will COME and cure him." Oh Lord I am not worthy to have you come to me the way you do. To care for me and love me the way you do. To come and dwell within me the way you do. Say the word and make me clean. I am not worthy that you should come to me. I should be the one coming to you. I should be the one giving my entire life and love to you. Still you come to me again and again. You always come closer even though I will never deserve your goodness. And you just ask that I approach you honestly and wholeheartedly in humble faith. Increase my faith Lord. Increase my love. Thank you for never giving up on me. Thank you to coming to me. 

Joyful Mysteries of the Rosary correlation with the Blessed Sacrament

Last night while praying the rosary during my holy hour, it occurred to me that the each of the Joyful Mysteries can be meditated on in light of Blessed Sacrament.  

The first decade of course is the Annunciation which is when the Angel Gabriel came to Mary and Jesus was conceived. It struck me that just as God physically entered into Mary in a very real way and she then carried him inside of her, we also have a similar experience when we receive the Eucharist. God physically takes up residence inside of us and becomes one with us in an extremely intimate way. Similar to Mary, partaking of the Bread of Life makes us living tabernacles and is a mystery we can’t fully understand but that changes our very being.

The second decade is the Visitation in which Mary travels to and spends time with her relative Elizabeth who is also pregnant. The correlation to the Eucharist here is that once we have received our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament, we must be moved to take Him to others and serve each other. Mary could have just stayed put and done her own thing in preparing for Jesus’ birth, but she saw  that her cousin was in need and so she gave up her time and made the long journey to be with her all while dealing with the uncertainties in her own life. A former parish priest I knew growing up, always would talk about how the Eucharist needs to transform us and changes us as we leave the doors of the church so that we can help build up the Kingdom of God in this life.

The third decade is Nativity in which Jesus was born. The Eucharistic connection here is the hidden Messiah. As I knelt in the Adoration Chapel before the Bread of Life, it hit me that it takes eyes of Faith to see past appearance of bread and grasp the reality of who is present in that little white host. This isn’t so different then the faith needed by the shepherds and wise men who came and worshiped the Baby King in the manger. Who could fathom that God would come to earth in a dirty stable and take on the form of a helpless infant born into poverty. Would we have recognized who this child is if we had been present there? And do we recognize Christ present to us today hidden in the Eucharist?

The fourth decade is the Presentation in which Joseph and Mary presented the Baby Jesus in the temple and offed a sacrifice according to the law. The Eucharist Meal we participate in at every Mass is truly a sacrificial meal.  At the beginning of the Liturgy of the Eucharist, the priest says, ”Pray, brethren, that my sacrifice and yours may be acceptable to God, the almighty Father.” Of course this is referencing the bread and wine that will become the Most Precious Body and Blood of Jesus, but I always think of it as broader then just this. We are offering our very selves…everything we have. At the presentation of our Lord, Joseph and Mary offered two turtle doves as that is all they could afford. Now God takes our seemingly insignificant gift and  transforms it into something amazing. And similar to the old man Simeon who took the Baby Jesus in his arms in the temple and rejoiced, we too should be filled with joy at the reality of receiving our Lord and Savior in our own hands at Communion.

The fifth decade is the Finding of Jesus in the Temple. Here the 12 year old Jesus is found in the temple teaching, by his parents who had lost him. Here the parallel is that when we feel like we’ve lost our way and don’t know where or who this Jesus is, He can still be physically found in every Catholic Church in the world.  Like the doctors who were amazed at the young Jesus’ wisdom in the temple, we too can learn much if we spend time with him and listen to what he is telling us. In the stillness of our heart…in quiet prayer, Jesus still speaks and teaches us today. Mary and Joseph were no doubt filled with anxiety and stress as they searched for their lost son but what a feeling of peace they must have experienced when they found Him. That sure is the way it is with my life too. I go along day after day thinking I’ve got my life in decent order, but as soon as I loose site of where my relationship is with Jesus, my life becomes a chaotic mess. I constantly have to refocus my priorities with Jesus at the middle and whenever I do this, all the other noise doesn’t seem so loud. Being able to spend time one on one with Jesus in the Eucharist is our greatest source of peace. 

Wishing I was more like Mary -- Daily Reading Thought

"Mary does something which only love can do. She took the most precious thing she had and spent it all on Jesus." (taken from rc.net Daily Reading and Meditation for April 2nd, 2012)

This line from my daily meditation reading, hit me today as I was reading it. Do I take the most precious things I have and give them all to Jesus? Not nearly as well as I wish. I certainly mean to and do try at times. But there are plenty of times that I am selfish with what I have. It's easy to justify that it's for my family, helping me with my job or a million other reasons, but the truth is Mary simplifies things in today's gospel reading. She doesn't think things through or ponder how everyone will perceive her actions. She just acts out of total love for Jesus. Hopefully I can become more like Mary and find my own way to spend all I have on Jesus.