Mysteries of Good Friday - Reflection by Matthew Engesser

Darkness came upon the Earth
As he climbed the cross that day

And silence rang out loudly
Birds song even ceased to play


The smell of death was fragrant
As his blood spilled to the ground

And inside me my heart was broken
Hope was nowhere to be found

Then looking up I saw
Him gasp for one last breath

A cloth about him fluttered
but his body hung still in death


How can this day be good
God himself has died

We think we see so clearly
But the things before us hide

It’s only in the darkness
That light is clearly seen

It’s only in the silence
That I hear your voice in me


It’s only in the pain
That we learn what true love is

And it’s only in your dying
That your life inside us lives

Stations of Love - Who does Jesus love in each station of the cross?

Stations of Love

The Passion of Jesus is not so much a story about SUFFERING as it is about His LOVE. He loves and gives His life for each of us not simply as a group of people but each individually. He loves us wherever we are at and in whatever we are going through. As I contemplated the traditional 14 stations of the cross this lent, I asked myself the question, “Who is Jesus reaching out in love to in each station? Who does Jesus love?”

 

Station 1: Jesus is condemned to death.

Jesus loves the one who doesn’t believe in truth.

Pilot sees there is something special about Jesus but when Jesus tells him, “I have come into the world, to bear witness to the truth. Everyone who is of the truth hears My voice,” Pilot responds with, “What is truth?” He’s a politician and sees truth as fairy tale. Or maybe he wants to believe in truth but has been jaded by his experiences with the world around him. When we are like Pilot and struggle to understand or accept truth, Jesus loves us.

 

Station 2: Jesus is made to bear his cross.

Jesus loves the one who profits at others' suffering.

Some of the soldiers who made Jesus take up His cross were likely simply doing their job. Others took the opportunity to bully and make fun of our Lord, mocking Him with a purple cloak and a crown of thorns. Regardless they all were profiting in the suffering of others. When we are like the soldiers and our jobs and actions unintentionally or intentionally hurt others, Jesus loves us.

 

Station 3: Jesus falls the first time.

Jesus loves the one whose faith is lukewarm or doesn’t exist.

When Jesus falls, He is entering fully into our humanity. First our God comes to earth and becomes one of us. Then He takes on the weight of our sins and falls even lower to the lowest place we can be. Here He meets those who have no faith or whose faith is in that dangerous place of indifference. When we are not willing to turn our eyes up to Him, Jesus stoops down to meet us where we are at and loves us.

 

Station 4: Jesus meets his mother.

Jesus loves the one whose pain is in watching others suffer.

Parents know how hard it is to watch their child suffer. Even though Jesus was enduring the physical torments, no doubt when He meets His mother Mary on the way of the cross, she bears an unspeakable pain. When hearts are close to each other, they share in each other’s joys and sorrows. To be the one looking on and unable to help is a unique suffering of love. When we are like Mary and feel the pain of those suffering around us with no way for us to comfort them, Jesus loves us.

 

Station 5: Simon of Cyrene is made to bear the cross.

Jesus loves the one who is too busy to get involved.

More than likely Simon was a good man and perhaps even on his way to do something good that seemed to be important. Many of the people walking the streets of Jerusalem as Jesus carried His cross, were good people who had no clue what was going on in their midst. They were busy with their day. But Jesus invited Simon to step out of his business and embrace in love the situation and cross in the moment before him. When we are like Simon and too busy to love those around us in the moment, Jesus loves us.

 

Station 6: Veronica wipes Jesus’ face.

Jesus loves the one who is overwhelmed.

Veronica was obviously deeply moved at the site of the beaten Jesus carrying His cross down the street. She likely knew something about Jesus previously and like many, had hopes and expectations that were now coming crashing down. Her head must have been spinning and feeling overwhelmed with everything going on around her that she couldn’t control. Still in this moment she reaches out to the Lord with all she has to offer Him, giving Him her veil to wipe His face on. Such a small gesture but as with our simple offerings, Jesus blesses it and works through it leaving His image on her actions. When we are like Veronica and overwhelmed with life and things we can’t control, Jesus loves us.

 

Station 7: Jesus falls the second time.

Jesus loves the one who continues to struggle and fall into serious sin.

Why does Jesus fall again? Because He falls for us… and we fall again and again. Even with the best intentions and when we are truly sorry, our human nature is weak and we find ourselves typically dealing with the same sins time after time. What’s important to focus on isn’t the fact that Jesus falls again, but that He gets back up again. No sin is beyond His mercy. When we continue to fall into sin, Jesus calls us to rise up, pick up our cross once again, and Jesus loves us.

 

Station 8: The women of Jerusalem weep over Jesus.

Jesus loves the one who is annoying.

The women of Jerusalem who wept in the streets for Jesus were likely doing so not because of who Jesus was, but because of the fact He was being executed. This was not a bad practice in general, but they were missing the point and Jesus tells them plainly that they shouldn’t be weeping for Him but for themselves and their children. This had to be annoying to Jesus that here they were face to face with God in His greatest act of Love and they were missing what was going on. When we are like the women weeping and our voices or actions are like the sound of fingernails on a chalkboard, Jesus loves us.

 

Station 9: Jesus falls the third time.

Jesus loves the one who is exhausted and can’t go on.

In this third fall is Jesus emptying Himself for us. He gives every last drop of energy and has nothing left. Still embracing the cross that should be ours, He holds tightly to it as He collapses at the end of His journey. It’s not just that He has fallen again, but rather that He has given it His all of His Own free will to the end. When we have given everything and have no energy left to fight the good fight, Jesus is there with us and loves us.

 

Station 10: Jesus is stripped of his garments.

Jesus loves the one who is empty and ashamed.

When Jesus is stripped naked, He is fully exposed in humiliating fashion.  He knows what it is like to be abused and to feel like everything is taken from you. That place of shame He allows Himself to enter into. And if God Himself takes on this terrible kind of pain and redeems it, then we can have confidence that He can make us new as well. When we are feeling ashamed, emptied, used up and helpless, Jesus stands with us, gives us back our dignity that comes from Him and loves us.

 

Station 11: Jesus is nailed to the cross.

Jesus loves the one who is in great pain and physical suffering.

The excruciating pain of the large nails driving through the nerves in Jesus’ wrists and feet is hard to imagine. And then He hangs there fixed like a mere object on those nails and pushes on them to take every painful breath on the cross He freely embraces. There is much suffering in the world and everyday many people endure torture, sickness and accidents. Even for those of us not going through such pains, we scream out the question, “Why do You allow this God?” But there He hangs and simply invites us to unite our sufferings to His. If God can take the ultimate item of torture in the cross, and the death of His Innocent Son and use it to bring about the greatest good the world has ever known, then He can give our pain purpose and will bring good out of it as well when we offer it to Him. When we are truly suffering, Jesus loves us.

 

Station 12: Jesus dies on the cross.

Jesus loves the one who is dying.

Our God has united Himself to us even in our death. Jesus truly died and experienced what we will all experience at the end of our lives. Even at the end, Jesus cries out, “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.” Even His death is an act of unity and obedience to the Father’s will. This isn’t something He only mustered the courage to embrace in His last moments, but was the way He lived His daily life. He didn’t have to die to save us but He went there because He loves us. With His arms outstretched, He looks down into our eyes from that cross and with them says, I love you this much.” When we are taking our last breath, Jesus loves us.

 

Station 13: Jesus is taken down from the cross and laid in His mother’s arms.

Jesus loves the one who has lost a loved one.

When someone we love dies, part of us dies with them. Those left behind experience grief in many different ways. As Mary holds for a few moments the lifeless body of her little boy…our God,  we clearly see that sword of sorrow that had been prophesied would pierce her heart. What a terrible pain for a parent to hold their child for the last time and yet Mary must have clung to her Son’s own words repeating in her head…“I am the resurrection and the life.” When we are grieving the loss of a loved one like Mary did at the foot of the cross, Jesus loves us.

 

Station 14: Jesus is placed in the sepulcher. 

Jesus loves the one who has lost hope.

The followers of Jesus wrapped His body and laid it in a tomb. These disciples had seen Jesus do amazing and supernatural things and perhaps a few of them had held out hope even in the final moments of His life, that He would come down from the cross and make the world seemingly right again. But when you bury something or someone there is a finality to it. There is a closing of a door that one doesn’t return through again. Hope completely evaporated as they rolled that stone across the tomb’s entrance. Everything they had hoped for and devoted their entire lives to was now flipped on its head. They clearly felt lost and had no clue where to turn next. Jesus allowed them to experience this hopelessness before the resurrection. Will we trust our Lord, in those moments when our world ceases to make sense? When we have lost hope like His closest friends did and we don’t know where to turn, Jesus loves us.

 

 

The Power of Touch ... the touch of Jesus heals us

The power of touch is undeniable. When two people touch each other they share something that they did not before. For lovers this can be an erotic sensation for sure but even a friend’s embrace, imparts something from one to the other. Even a handshake between strangers or steadying someone who might fall requires a certain amount of trust and giving of oneself to another. 

When we touch each other (and I simply mean this in regards to making physical contact) we become vulnerable to them. We enter their bubble they in turn enter ours. Who hasn’t offered a hand shake and then realized we don’t know what kind of hygiene practices that person follows. We could have just received germs from them. But it’s not all bad. Who hasn’t felt comfort in a friends touch. Who hasn’t felt secure in another offering their arm in a dangerous place. Even a little baby, studies have shown, rest better when in physical contact with other people (especially with Mom). 

If human touch holds such power, then how much more power is to be found in the touch of Jesus, God Himself. It’s interesting that in today's gospel (Mk 5:21-43) about the raising of Jarius’ daughter, he asks Jesus to “come lay your hands on her [his daughter], so that she may be made well and live.”

 

“Lay your hands on her.” He knew and believed in the power of Jesus’ touch. 

 

But on the way to his house something else happens. Someone “touches” Jesus. It’s the woman who had “had a flow of blood for twelve years.” She said, “ if I touch even his garments, I shall be made well.” And she was. Jesus didn’t have to touch her. She didn’t even have to touch anything more than His clothing. That was enough to change her. And it impacted Jesus too in that he perceived that power had gone out from Him. I suspect He knew the woman would touch him and desired to heal her, but all the same He let her come to him. 

 

He always makes himself available to us. He never forces himself onto us. But sometimes He comes to us and reaches out to us like He did with Jarius’ daughter. Other times He waits for us to reach out and touch Him. He knows what we need. In the end He is always desiring to have that encounter with us… To go deeper with us. To reveal more of who He is and the power to mold us… not unlike what we do with each other but in a much larger and more profound way. 

There is another detail that catches my eye in this passage. Jarius asks that his daughter be “made well AND LIVE.” Maybe it’s simply a figure of speech to say it like this or the AND part is done for emphasis. I think it could be significant though. Let’s again look at the woman who touches our Lord. She felt she was cured as soon as she reached out to touch Jesus. Still Jesus stops, asks who touched him and she “came in fear and trembling and fell down before him”.  At this point Jesus tells her “your faith has made you well; go in peace and be healed of your disease.” 

Wait what? In one breath Jesus states the obvious that she is healed but then says to go and (future tense) “be healed of your disease.” But what disease if she is already healed? Kind of similar to Jarius asking for his daughter to be made well and also live. 

I think these are significant. The real healing and the real living is not just in the physical sense. The real miracle is being changed  inside us. The core of who we are… not living in our own darkness but in the life and light of Christ. That is what Jesus wants most to heal us from. That is where His touch is the most powerful. 

So hear I am Lord. Touch me so I can be made well and live. Allow me to touch you so you can make me well and cure me of my disease. 

Just like a good friend, Jesus knows the power of touch and just because He doesn't walk physically among us any longer doesn't mean He has overlooked our need to touch Him. What a gift it is as Catholics to be able to truly and physically touch our Lord in the Eucharist. We not only touch Him, we embrace Him as as we receive Holy Communion and He becomes part of and dwells within us.

“I am the bread of life… I am the living bread which came down from heaven; if any one eats of this bread, he will live for ever; and the bread which I shall give for the life of the world is my flesh… He who eats my flesh and drinks my blood abides in me, and I in him.” (John Chapter 6)

You Are

What does God do? I gaze at the consecrated host and nothing I see clamors for my attention. It doesn’t make a sound, and doesn’t mover or change. There are no marketing tricks or flashing lights. Even the size and the matter of the Eucharist is very common place and underwhelming. And yet here is contained the great “I Am”. Here “You Are”…and that is enough. Really more then enough when I stop and ponder. Most things require a hook, a feature, a purpose but You are in fact the very purpose of everything. You are not something among things but THE thing among somethings. You transcend me and everything I see… every thought I can imagine. Spotlights and trumpets cannot add to what You Are. In fact the simplicity of what the physical senses perceive only serves to better contrast and magnify the EVERYTHING You Are.  You are not something to see but everything to behold. Lord let me bask in your presence and that will be enough. You Are the greatest and deepest longing of my heart. 

Just as the soldiers fell back in the garden when you declared to them the words “I Am”, so to I fall back in wonder when you reveal in this bread that “You Are”.  

(thoughts from my Holy Hour in Adoration from a couple weeks ago)

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“For in him the whole fulness of deity dwells bodily, and you have come to fulness of life in him” (Col 2:9-10)

“And he came down with them and stood on a level place, with a great crowd of his disciples…And all the crowd sought to touch him, for power came forth from him and healed them all.” (Luke 6:17 and 19)

Twins vs All-stars

With only one position player from the Twins historically good first half offensive making the all-star game this year, I got to wondering how the Twins 2019 starting lineup would fare if playing against AL all-star starting lineup. Of course Polanco would have to play all time offense and would be a push but how about the rest of the team? Here’s a look at stats position by position. While it’s clear the all-star starters would have the upper hand, the Twins as a team would be only 69 points behind in OPS and 20 points behind in Slugging. Those would be pretty evenly matched offenses and by the numbers, the Twins should really have had 2 more starters on the team. But who cares about an exhibition game. Pretty cool that the Twins have been fielding a near All-Star caliber lineup top to bottom this year. Let's enjoy it!